Story Telling Unit: Feedback from my script The Meeting draft 1

This is the feedback Simon gave me after I handed in my first draft of the script The Meeting:

Simon basically says that my dialogue is the main problem because it lacks believability.

Overall Simon didn't like my dialogue as it was too robotic, I agree with this to some extent as I didn't understand how to portray my male character very well. The ending was rushed so I think it does lack some believability. The idea of a double date didn't go very well and I need to change it.

Story Telling Unit: Camera Workshop

On the dates 22nd and 29th of October we was introduced to the Sony camera's. In these lessons we was taught about white balance, peaking, zebra and gain.
Fergus taught us how to get the picture quality to the best it ca be by using peaking and zebra, by just using 2 little buttons on t left side of the camera. Zebra shows the light exposure on surfaces and how high it is, peaking shows how much someone is in focus and how soft the image is.

Story Telling Unit: Filming

I booked my camera out for the date 4th-6th November.
On Monday 4th I plan to film my female scene with my flatmate Ruby who is going to act the main character Daisy, I will be filming this in her room.
On Tuesday 5th I plan to film the male part who is going to be played by Mark, he will be playing my main character Henry, this will be filmed in his room.
The coffee shop part will be filmed on Wednesday 6th, the 2 characters will be Henry played by Mark and the waitress played by Ilianna.

Story Telling Unit: Script (Draft 1)

 "The Meeting"

This is my first draft for my 10 paged script:
This was handed in on 21st October 2013.

The Meeting Draft 1

Soft - Idea Development

This short film soft has given me some inspiration for my film and what sort of film I can create, this film is short and it gets to the point, there  is a real problem that the characters overcome. This film  also explores the power of cowardness and courage.

Story Telling Unit: Research

This week we were given a task to teach us about Final Draft.
We were asked to write a 3 paged script on our journey to Uni that day. I worked with Ilianna Ntouvli to create this script:
This is the script after Simon had looked at it and made corrections.

As you can see there was a lot of corrections we needed to make, but as this was our first attempt at script writing Simon said we needed to get writing in the form of a book out of the way so we can learn from that mistake a write the script in the proper format.

Story Telling Unit: Idea Development

 "The Meeting"

Genre of my short film:

Drama

 

Location:

Coffee shop

 

Characters:

1. Male - Henry

2. Female - Daisy

 

Goal:

To get the two main characters to meet

 

Problem:

They do not get a long and clash personalities, as he is sexist and she is so independent.

 

Change:

Henry changes his perception on women after meeting Daisy.

Some of the ideas given to me from the group discussions:
The blind happens in her coffee shop.
She is the manager of the coffee shop.
He is rude to the waitress and Daisy sticks up for her staff, she tells him that she does not need a man and he realises that he needs to change his opinion of women.